Good evening beautiful people!
While sitting on my desk and thinking the whole things the more angry I become. It gets me mad to the whole idea that relationships have become so impoverished. Although it may sounds stupid it is true. People have been taught this way. It does not matter if they like it or not. If they believe that this is the only way to survive the relationships' unending game they will continue to hurt people. In the end they will just count the ''dead bodies''. Because this is what we have become; Victims of people who did not think about nothing and they killed us, shoot us without second thought. And unfortunately those people we have loved them the most.
After so many glasses of wine I can't stop thinking of how many times we have been sacrificed for those people we loved. OK, for some people it might worth it and if we think about it as many times as we want we do not have regrets. But honestly, how many people were worth it for? Few, very few.
How many times did we stay with those people because of love? How many times did we stick on that relationship because of this bonding? Countless. Countless are those times that we instead of walking away from those people we forgave, forgot and moved on. We just ''fuck it''and moved on.
Sound silly, isn't it? But still, we did it. We have put ourselves on that wall and we gave the order to be shout in cold blood. Only because we were afraid of being alone. That motherfucker loneliness, that hurts people and mow hearts. We learned to be afraid of it so we have done unthinkable things to ourselves. Things that we used to swear that we never do.
Although we have said that we will not repeat the same mistakes of the past we did the exact same like real assholes. We were manipulated in awful ways, inexcusable choices. We have been relegated, to not be count and we have accepted it. And all these because we have done the mistake to love them. In the end love is an illness that kills you. It passes from one person to another, like epidemic kind of. Does not give space for improvement, you just count the days. One month, two years, six years. In the end you will die and you know it already.
For some death is total worth it. Sweet death- sweet as it gets. Others see you dying and they die with you. Others are happy because they lost counting dead bodies. Because you don't die only once. This is the drill. But you should end it. You won't last much more. At some point you just stop breathing.
Leave though before it is too late. At some point you should leave. Do not postpone just because loving somebody is a huge motive to keep a person in your life while he has done so bad things to you. Obviously it is difficult but it is better an end with pain, rather pain without an end.
Do not excuse people, do not forgive so easily. Do not become the shadow for no one. You were born to be unique, to stand out, do not condemn your self so as not be alone. If the other person can not handle the fact that you are unique do not give him so easy. Do not let no one to degrade you; you exist for you and for those you love. For those who worth your love, who have fought to earn it. Those that may have suffered, toiled but in the end they have earned it.
Acknowledge that the heart is like an unrestrained child in a toy store; It wants everything, it loves everything. Tame your heart; Use it to love the simple toys, teddy bears, trains. Not the Barbies or the porcelain dolls which once they break you realize they are empty.
Acknowledge that whatever has no solution, can be cut in a minute and whatever you can not do, means that you did not try enough to succeed it. Because love is not a motive to keep someone in your life. It is a reason, but it is not the only one.
Love. Flower Girl. x
