We miss the most those who we did not manage to keep in our life
Good morning beautiful people
Losing people in your life is something inevitable. It happens to all of us and we all do remember persons that used be full of smiles and hugs. We all to recall a painful lost in our life and with our memory and heart we try to keep people that we lost alive next to us, of as long it is possible.
However, there is one more kind of lost; Losing someone who is still alive. Losing a person that you once loved so much, who you trusted him and shared together worries, fears, thoughts, hopes and worldviews. And I do to refer to a lover, not necessarily.
I am referring to friends, mentors, to those anyway that had the honor with their own value of course to call them ''your people''. And this kind of lost is what hurts me the most because I know this person that is not missing, in reality is over there, somewhere near.
He does exist at the end of the other telephone line, behind of a laptops' screen, at the next adjoining wagon. It kills that you can't do anything to approach him. Approaching him would be a casus belli. You try to be as much as insensitive you can, you freeze your hear, so as not recall that for this whole situation was not your fault. You are just paying the price.
This lost hurts you the most, because those persons that we miss are the ones that we let go through our hands. Those that we devoted time and feelings, that we have open our heart to. We let them insert in our world, where few have the potentials to enter. Because they had that magical key which we were looking in other places, till we have discovered that those were always keeping it.
Those who understood us before even speak. They knew exactly the phrase/sentence that will dry our tears and how to deal with our nagging. They had their own way to make us laugh and berate without upsetting us.
And this is how it was, every day. In every excitement and every disaster. In every serious succeed and every stupid problem that came up. Until one day was not anymore and you still don't get how and why. And when all of sudden you loose a daily companion, a useful advice, a hand in need, you are uncertain about everything.
You have nowhere to go and no one to talk with about your worries, fears and problems. And while ou feel the lost gap and pain in the same ou that person that you have lost is still there for the other, that he has not gone. He just does exist for you; He shouldn't exist for you.
Everything is different now. The simple things are no longer as it used to be, they lost their color, the laughter, their music. A funny incident which you no longer can't share, the day has pass by and can not gossip about it, you share all these with yourself and only.
And in this way, without choice, you ''pull the door'' and and move on, dragging behind you another loss, another burden that will complicate your course. But you continue always forwards. Because there your life draws you.
You already know based from your experiences, that others will come to fill the gap, but never replacing the one who has left, the one you have lost. And you already that these are the rules of the game that either you like it or not you have to comply with. So you move on. You learn to continue, to move on. You clean the debris, you wipe up the pieces and you go out again.
You step ahead and you dance again, because after this is what all about life, isn't it? An endless dancing with pirouettes, back push, falling down and figures. Music is sometimes slow and sometimes fast.
Sometimes you pant, sometimes your feel start to move by themselves, your hips are in pain, your breath is coming slowly, you feel other's sweating bodies, you hear their pant, you lift their burden on your shoulder in this dancing cycle that pulls you strong and goes only forwards.
It goes and you go with it. To dance, not feeling the floor on your feet, to fly! Leave them all behind staring and watching you sitting on their tables, showing to them how to fly, how to defy every natural law and enjoy your life. Until the next loss.
Love. Flower Girl. x
