Whoever is not anymore a part in my life, now, then he never was either in the past. Law. An amendment established from today. Fascism. You name it; A report. An announcement. A decision. The dictatorship of the substance. An excommunication. I can name budge of nouns till midnight.
Month is over 2 days ago. If my life was a store, I would have certainly closed books. I would have been working at the warehouse. I would check the stock, order in case for new one. Exactly what accountants do end of the month or every three months. And after I would realize that what I have is what I have already count. Nothing from what I had. Just what I have now.
It's only few times in your life that you need to ''close a book''; Something that you and only need to do. That you will want to look around you and count. See who has stayed, no matter what had happened, whoever you are, whatever you do, how far you may come, whatever may happen.
Whoever is not anymore a part in my life, now, then he never was. Unfair, for those who were in the past next to me. For those who left recently. If they were with me for a good cause, then they would have stayed. If their intentions were true, crystal clear, they would have stayed then. I would have counted them now next to me and they would have done the same as well.
If at that point our connection was a love bond, then they wouldn't have left, I would have not removed my self from them, our paths wouldn't have separated. We would have found a way. No one of us would have abandon our relationship. Words wouldn't have broken us up. Neither actions. We would have succeed. We would have been still together. And if something was once in danger, we would have rescue it.We would have taken precautions.
You people that you are now gone, where have you been when this whole thing was taking place? I wont' say what, I do not want to cause emotion mood. I am just asking, where have you been? Where are you now that this whole insane is happening? Where am I? Is like that we have never met. But we did not meet each other, indeed.
And if is unfair for those that have came and left, then it is as just generous for those that have recently came and perhaps have not been tested enough yet. But they have managed though to insert in my life, they did today before the census. They haven't been tested, but they came in this mess. They saw the difficult part, the mess, the chaos and still they wanted to be a part of my life. They weren't discouraged by the tent, the ''bad weather'', my own weird mood. They saw something else and for this reason I do appreciate them.
Whoever is not anymore a part in my life, now, then he never was. So I have decided this morning, and so I ''demanded'' to be. My life, my rules. My criteria, my point of view, my census then. The fingers that I count them belong to me, my excommunication then. Each person't life is like a bus. Others stayed to the whole way but before the finish they came down. And others walked in now. But there is a time, only once, that you want to lift your head and check who's sitting next to you. And is the moment that you need the most to do this. Count them. Because who ever is not right now a part of you life, then he has never existed, never was.
Love. Flower Girl. x
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