Men and women wake up every day to go to the bathroom, to do their usual need and wash their face. Every day exactly in front of that d*** mirror face their own reality. Sometimes their reflections is bright from their last night stand and other times is blurred and feeling nostalgic for all those irreversibly nights.
Every morning they stand opposite the mirror, them as psychoanalyst and their reflection as a patient. Wash their face, brush their teeth, comb their hair, everything has to be done like the soldiers do in the army; with discipline. Especially when their reflection is blurred they try to ''fix'' it and bring it back to its normal bright level. Do not wonder anymore, people: they eyes will answer to your question: They have recently broken up and you can tell that they are tired.
They pry their figure in the mirror trying to get to use to it being alone. They have spent so much of their time ''worshiping'' idols next to their figure in front of that mirror. Some, you can tell that they have lost weight, checking how many kilos are less now. They are chocked from the result that they see; minus 60 kilos the guy, minus 80 kilos the woman on the other hand, feeling like a person is missing from them.
But what if this is the case? What if a burden have left from them? There is also this scenario the comfort of a break up. The same feeling when you loose the kilos after the vacations. You let your self go felling relaxed and carefree. When this period of time goes by they only thing you wish is to get rid the kilos that you have gained the soonest possible. But this does not mean that you did not enjoy the food, the drink, the cake; you just did not know the exact reason that you were eating so much food.
''I am full, I can't breath, I ate too much'' they say when there is no more space for food in their stomach. ''I am fed up'' declare couples just before their final break up. The same discomfort feeling applies for both cases. You are in pain, you moan, you regret feeling greed or bulimic until you get up after a while, feeling relieved and determined to put boundaries on your appetite and stop yourself to the point that you desire and stand.
You and only you. Away from people that caused indigestion. The judgement day comes at some point that you should choose if this is healthy for your body or just satisfies your appetite. Where does the scale lead to? Mind or heart? Does it lead to your partner or is he too heavy for your stomach?
You are wondering how did you manage to fall in love with a total different person in compare to you, how did you stay with him for so long, how this relationship transformed and changed you, in what possible way and when you let yourself to gain weight after being with this guy. Two parallel streets that never crossed to each other or two co-travelers on the same journey that were lost each other somewhere in the middle crossing?
Infinite questions that may never be answered. And most possible that these questions do not need to be analysed that much. You have this sense of comfort and that's good enough. Of course you will feel guilty just because you are feeling relieved as much as for those things that you have felt or thought during the relationship, but also for the final break up.
Will you choose the guilt of feeling relieved or the ''repeated'' option of ''expired food'? The Ministry of psychosomatic disorders has warned you about the side affects caused by relationships' consumption after their expiration day; Pay attention on the label please, is a health matter!
Love. Flower Girl. x
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