Did anyone tell you that the worst part in relationships is the distance? The one that someone is miles away and can't be with you? Maybe yes, it is bad to be miles away but believe me there is nothing worse than the emotional in compare to distance in kilometres.
No one should be afraid of the miles that keep your lover apart from you. We are all apart from one message, one phone call from him/her. And f*** distance, because distance is not an obstacle in front of his/her own willing to search, look and come to see you.
Because this is the way it should be my friends. Be with someone who will find the stupidest excuse to look for you. Besides who is in love, forgets all obstacles and distances and does not count a thing.
What you should be afraid of is the emotional distance. This feeling, my friend, when you see him/her and you know that something has changed; that things are not like it used to be. You don't recognise him/her, is like a stranger to you, like he/she is not the same person that you have fallen for. You have an indifference gap opposite you. Like he/she has to be with you, like you are an obligation to him/her and not his/her desire.
And you start to think and think what the f*** is going on. Because this thing what ever puts a distance between you both. Because it makes you distant. What does he/she want? Live your love apart from each other and perhaps you will find something emotional in the process?
What went wrong, you are wondering; who has the blame; Your emotional safety is gone therefore defence mode is gone as well and you start attacking your partner, blaming him/her for everything.
O K, you will try even more. But every step you are doing to come closer to your partner, he/she becomes even more distant and the distance becomes bigger and bigger. Better the distance in kilometres rather than his/her goddamn detachment. And is that specific phase that you are not planning to leave but not the motivation to stay.
The emotional gap remains substantial and becomes bigger. It starts showing from both sides though tensions, anger, indifference, and of course reduction of sexual desire for your partner.
You can not further communicate with the person standing opposite to you. You have lost whatever was bonding you with him/her; You don't feel alive anymore; And you start torturing your selves with thoughts that with this person you had so many dreams and now there is a big wall between you both.
You understand that the person next to you is not familiar as he/she used to be. Rare indications of tenderness and love from this person, which make you not even dare to touch him/her. And the worst part is that you don't care anymore if he/she still likes you or desires you for the person you are.
You grieve and mourn in silence for this dead relationship; you recall from were you started and where has ended; deeply, madly in love and now two strangers. Your partner realises what is happening but he does nothing. And so he withdraws in silence.
This emotional distance is the worst thing that could ever happen to a relationship. Come on, we all know when someone really wants to be with you, does not allow you to get lost and does not count distances and obstacles that he may find on his paths.
But if this emotional chaos knocks your door then everything changes. Because you just can't be willing to be in a relationship in which you do everything to fix it and despite all the efforts that you are doing you are not further happy.
If someone ever tells you again that the distance in kilometres to a couple is destructive, then reply to him/her to reconsider all the above what the emotional distance can do.
Because believe me I 've been in both roads and the second one is the worst of all.
Love. Flower Girl. x
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