I don't count what you have done, but those things that you should have done and you did not do
They say that people are ungrateful creatures, they want everything for themselves and only, don't appreciate the little and leave to find more; they choose nothing over something. But think about it, is it really a disadvantage?
Is it a weakness or a strength not to compromised yourself? In a mediocrity society people have learned to be satisfied with less and so they have believed is the right thing to do. Everyone is looking for something and everybody feel that something is missing from them, everyone wants something and have in their arms something that they did not wish for, as long as their 'hands' are not empty; soul is a different matter though.
You have done so many, you 've bitten my soul the crap out of it and now you ask me to bow in front of you like somehow I am the guilty one?
You were here sometimes, said budge of ''I love you'' so as you to be sure that I know it, you came to find me, bought me gifts, you chased me on the stairs, you texted me, you were calling me and did not leave when I first told you "Over''.
You did everything like it was a romantic comedy, you should have taken part on it as well. O K you loved me, I shouldn't have doubts, everyone could see it, I should have seen it as well. You did not lie. Everything that you have said, was true; came from the bottom of your heart, as you say. I am wrong not believing in anything anymore. I am wrong judging you because you are absent now.
But everything you have done does not mean a thing since you are not here right now. What should I do with the try if one day your love was too heavy for you to lift it and you prefer to empty it? What can words do to me, all those things you told me that you were feeling for me, if in difficulties you run away? What can words do to me, when I know that you should have done so many, because I know what a man does when he is in love; he can't bare loosing the one he truly loves.
You talk about times and moments, mistakes and selfishness, obstacles and realistically things, financial, distances, routine, and all the stupid excuses that everyone is breaking up, who is coward, stupid, or didn't never believe everything he has said as long as he was saying the word ''I love you''.
You know, no one has been comforted by the word ''he loved me''; only in present counts and only in present has a meaning. Only the ''I love you'' whispering to you while he is holding you tight in his arms feeling safe, you believe and in the end of the day only those deserve to you. Because everything is being judged according to the result and f*** all the intentions which did not find a way to complete their purpose.
Because at the end everything is relieved; love and feeling and its own truth. At the end you see if it was ever existed or not. At the end you are fighting with your bare hands, teeth. At the absence and presence everything is being judged, in here and there.
So it is my friends; people although they do want to, they are not willing to change, are bitter, even though they pretend to their family, friends that they are cool and mighty; memory is cruel, vengeful. You are being choked by the questions starting with ''if'', chained by ''why'', the complaint takes away your oxygen.
''You loved me''; f*** the lover who quits, who does not fight like a wolf, but leaves with no shame at all. No matter what you have done, I will always count those things that you should have done, those that I were willing to do for us but I saw you unwilling to share the burden.
You are being left with promises, how can the word ''I love you'' to comfort while everything is in the past now? You have done nothing after all, because if you did then the complain would have choked others, far away who have never being madly loved or the guts to live their love.
Call me selfish, ingratitude, that I don't know how to appreciate; whatever you say, you know that I find right in your absence. Because those who love stay, and I am not the one that ''run away''. Only those ''who tried a lot have the right to be complaining'', and I have that right, because damn you, you have failed in it by yourself.
You have no right missing me or asking me to come back. You have no right to look for my eyes in the crowd or to excuse yourself. You have lost that right.
Everything that you could/should have done, everything you could/should have given, everything that you could/should have said. Moments that I needed you and you were absent, doors you have closed behind you, the unreplied text messages, the unanswered missed calls, the feelings that you empty with your absence in bed, the try which you have left in the middle undo all the ''I love you'' you have said and every try has been written off.
Love. Flower Girl. x
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