Relationships :)

        Good morning beautiful people and have a great week!




                           Whatever hurts us, makes us even more believing that is worth it




Here we go; again on the same boat. Days go by on a slow rhythm and you feel like you are on a constantly war inside you that is about to explode from the same thoughts over and over again.

Your mind has become your worst enemy especially in the nights and you wished you had amnesia.

You are in pain. And only you know how shamed you feel and how much more shamed you can feel when friends ask you why you are abstracted. But what will you say? Tell me; That you are still hoping? That you are still waiting for a phone call or a text message from the same phone number that once make your heart skip a bit? How will you reply? That in the nights you find yourself choking from the cigarettes' smoke and drinking a cheap wine?

How can you say and name what you are feeling when your feelings are so many and mixed up. How can you specify and characterize what is happening to you. One hand bitterness and one hand sadness. Thus, your need to blow up keeps growing dangerously and overly.

And then there is the need that you want to express everything that you are keeping inside you, which time makes it even worse. You want to go somewhere with no people to scream with all of your strength so as your inner world to be relieved. The need to disappear, no possible way to track you, so as you won't have to find yourself explaining to no one and you are too proud to ;let anyone see you how low you have fallen.

And all these because you are still hoping. You belch and you try with every possible way to yourself to realise that this person is not for you, to feel better and to move on. But regardless the efforts there is no outcome. There is no point being happy and indifferent. Because every time you return to an empty house, that person is away. He/she is away with whose presence was full house.


You are still in horrible pain from that ''goodbye''; keep recalling those words that you have exchanged to each other; There are moments that you are wearing the Superwoman/Superman suit and you feel strong, proud and you are laughing over that person that is in your thoughts again. You are smiling and keep repeating yourself that you are much better without him. (The truth:) But you are not.

You go out and meet people and then there is the comparison. You keep a list, putting X to all those possible 'candidates' that you can't bare talk or see anymore. There is no patience from your side to learn a person from the beginning. So you prefer loneliness instead of indifferent people around you.

And you are arguing with yourself that is still stuck with the past and you are ''flagellated'' that you don't have the strength anymore to press the ''delete'' button and free yourself.

You still hope and dream deep down. Is either forgetting everything or a sign from him, that he did not think how damaging the break up could be. And at the same time the fact that you know that this person causes so much pain to you, you realise that this person was not just something casual. Not an incident; Was everything.





Love. FlowerGirl. x