Most of us we have been in the place thinking what if breaking up was the correct decision. Some of us believe that when ''the mirror breaks up it can not been stick again''. On the other hand others believe that the second time might be better than the first time because loosing ''our'' person makes us see him/her different; we appreciate him/her even more. But are these all true?
Should we give second chances, or when the relationship is over should we forget it and move on?
Truth lies somewhere in the middle.
Yes, sometimes break up is the best thing for some relationships; relationships which we should and must not go back ever again. But there are times that we should give a second chance. Because is worth it.
First of all let's examine the criteria: If we are emotional depending from that person, fear of loneliness, boredom then better move on and forget it because it is a matter of time hurting him/her and our self again.
Second important thing: is it the second time, or third, fourth, fifth? It is common sense wanting to try again, but getting back and breaking up all the time does not describe neither a healthy relationship nor a sign of evolving it in a positive way.
We give a second chance when we realise after the break up that we can be only happy with that person; when our feelings are still there, burning us inside, missing him/her every second of our life.
Especially after a long relationship we tend to take our partner for granted. The relationship becomes boring and we have nothing to expect, there are no ''surprises''. A break up can shake us and make us understand what is really most important.
Furthermore we examine and analyse if the reasons we broke up do not exist anymore or/and the problematic behaviours or situations now have changed. Most of the times break ups make us cry, accusing each other and fight. Sometimes though gives you the chance to have an open, honest dialogue and you may end up somewhere. People have the motivation of change especially if our motivation is strong and most of the times changes can build a strong relationship.
Break up, loss works as a motivation, frees us from our ego, accusations, and therefore we sit and listen carefully. Or we may review the break up if we left without thinking about it, after an intense fight without real problems that can be solved through conversation. In a moment of anger we may say and do things that we don't mean to and we only realise it after it.
We both did lots of mistakes. Is it worth trying again?
Mistakes are inevitable in a relationship, so as bad behaviours. If we had not intention hurting our partner and there was no violence, then everything is under discussion. If we have realise our mistakes, admitting and willing to get over them then there is a hope. Point is not to repeat the same mistakes as before.
I want to try again but the partner does not agree..
''It takes two to tango''; A relationship needs two people so and getting back together. We can not force somebody to be with us or give us second chance. Sometimes breaking up is so painful that we are willing to do anything and everything to have that person back, giving promises that we most probably can't keep. Under these circumstances just think what kind of relationship would be? Could it make us happy? Sometimes only thing we can do is to face reality and move on.
I gave a second chance but the same behaviours are being repeated..
If the situations did not change then most probably you are going backwards; thinking to break up. Analyse first your own behaviour and attitude, have a calm conversation with your partner and explain to him/her how you feel, make suggestions on solutions. If he is not willing to try and you feel that you have done the best you could, then it is time to say ''goodbye'' for good.
We broke up because he was hitting me but he promised he won't do it again..
It might be a chance not to, but are you willing to risk it? Unfortunately, these situations are black-white and there are no in the middle solutions. The person who beats his/her partner then apologises and promises he/she won't do it again... until the next time. And the one who accepts the violence, believes him/her every single time. And the story goes on and on.. Same scenario every time. It is important to realise that you and only can fix this problem.
I want to give a second chance but I don't know if he/she wants the same..
And you will never know if you don't ask him/her. If you really want to try again then sit together and talk with your ex partner if there is a chance of getting back.
Love. Flower Girl. x
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